Friday, March 7, 2014

My weight loss ups and downs

I am starting this blog as a way for me to document my journey. I hope that someday it becomes an inspiration to other people in my situation, but honestly I just need a place to get down my feelings, struggles, and triumphs on this journey. 

My weight struggles aren't that different from anyone else.  Here is a rundown of my ups and downs with the scale. Be aware, I had a lot of them!

I started gaining weight when I was 6. That year I had my tonsils out and could finally taste and swallow food without it hurting. It opened up a whole new world and I took advantage of it. My parents didn't know much about nutrition at that time and we ate a lot of boxed foods. 

As the years went by, my weight slowly kept creeping up. Middle school was the worst four years of my life. I was picked on, tortured, and just had a miserable existence. I would sneak food at home to try and make myself feel better. It would work for a few minutes, but I always had to go back to school. Luckily, I had a small group of friends that kept me sane. 

Middle school
High school I stayed pretty steady. I was still overweight, but not so much that it effected my life. I was in marching band and honors classes. I am a very shy person and my weight just magnified that. I still had a small group of friends, but I didn't participate in most of the high school rituals like prom or homecoming. 

During my freshman year of college I meant my now husband. I commuted to school so I didn't gain the freshman 15 like many people did. Instead, I slowly gained over my four years of school. Too many fast food stops, huge muffins in the cafe, and snacks in the car added up to about 20-30 pounds over four years. The only saving grace was my campus was on a hill so there was a lot of walking to and from class. I would hate to see what my weight would have been if I didn't have walk to walk that hill everyday! I got engaged my senior year and I swore that I would lose weight by the time I walked down the aisle. 

Sophomore year in college
And I did. I didn't get a job right out of college, so weight loss became my job. I worked out every day. I planned my meals and learned more about nutrition. I weighed 145 the day I got married. While it is still a lot of weight on my tiny 5 foot frame, I felt like a million dollars. 
My wedding day

The newlywed phase was rough. My husband was in the Navy and gone a lot. I was away from home for the first time and it is a strange city. It was easier to stop and grab fast food (and we had a ton of choices) than cook something just for myself. I ate because I was lonely and bored. I used my shyness as an excuse to not meet new people and try new things. 

I got pregnant before our first anniversary. I only gained about 25 pounds with the pregnancy. I was sick the first 3 months and lost quite a bit of weight. I had complications when he was born and couldn't more around much. I ended up gaining another 10-20 pounds before he was six months old. 

Homecoming (my lowest weight in a LONG time)
My husband was getting ready for deployment for 6 months. I really wanted to lose the weight. My son was getting more mobile and I was having a hard time keeping up with him. I decided to make it my goal to lose 40 lbs while my husband was gone. I was living between my parents and my inlaws and had no responsibility other than taking care of myself and my son. I worked out, cut down my portions, skipped high fat dressings/gravies, and treated myself once a week. I kept the whole thing a surprise from my husband and he barely recognized me when I meant him at homecoming. I felt so much better and was really looking forward to having my family back together. 

Unfortunately, my good feeling was short lived. We lived in a hotel for almost three months after he got back and I put on almost a quarter of what I had lost. 

After baby #2
Over the next 10 years I had three more sons and watched my weight slowly creep up. There were a few times where I would buckle down and lose some weight, but I always put it back on and then some. 
This past summer (my highest weight) I can't believe I am sharing this!

Next post I will talk about what is my motivation this time and how I got here. 

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